Blogging my way through wedding planning, crafts, life and all the unexpected events in between.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Venting

It's 11:45 on Sunday night.  I'm too wound up to sleep.  Mr. ST and I had a disagreement tonight.  It wasn't a fight - no one raised voices or stomped around.  No one went to bed without saying goodnight or a goodnight kiss. 

I made this subway art sign and I worked very hard on it.  I wanted to hang it in the kitchen - by the phone jack on the wall - to cover it up.  Mr. ST said a flat out no.  Well, we started to disagree and I became frustrated. 

The disagreement became about the wedding

Mr. ST voiced:
  • He does not want our house to be a 'craft house'
  • I have too many projects started and not finished
  • He has no idea what is going on with the plans for the wedding
  • There has been a lack of 'opinion asking'
  • He is insisting I spend more money than I think I should on a dress
  • He does not think we should spend too much on photography
I voiced:
  • I feel like our house is not my whole home because I cannot be creative for it
  • That I would like help making decisions
  • I do not have more than two projects going for the wedding
  • I gave up blinging my shoes because of the cost of the crystals
  • I want to spend more on photography than a dress
  • That I asked specifically for his opinion on matters and got cheeky responses
I feel like it was a venting session for both of us.  We are still over a YEAR away from the wedding. I want to DIY things for us because it saves money - plus it's who I am - a crafter. 

I know all couples will argue and can disagree about aspects of the wedding.  It's been almost a year since we got engaged and we were both very gung-ho at the beginning - picking out the venue and booking certain vendors.  I feel like we are in a wedding lull now - this no planning land - until we need to really get things done.

When is too early to get things done?  Has anyone ever gone through a lull in planning? 

5 comments:

jacin {lovely little details} said...

i went through a little lull when planning, but felt like about 2-3 months out was when things really started picking up again. if you want, i have a timeline checklist i can send you that i use with my girls, it might help you check off what you have done vs. what still needs to happen.

spinningstars said...

I am sorry to hear about your disagreement but I think it will turn out to be a healthy thing for y'all. It's so much better to get opinions out and to know what your partner is thinking than for both of you to be bottling up resentment. You've still got plenty of time to make changes to your wedding- I planned our whole wedding in six months and got everything done even though it was down to the wire with some craft projects at the end. Does Mr. ST understand that craft projects are fun and relaxing for you, not stressful?

The Vintage Modern Bride said...

"He has no idea what is going on with the plans for the wedding. There has been a lack of 'opinion asking'"

Mathew and I had a "discussion" about those two things too. It's funny how sometimes the guys want to have some input too. We made it a point though to keep up with our communication on the wedding stuff. Even if I really don't want his opinion on a wedding item, I ask him anyway just so he feels included.

Just make sure you and Mr. ST keep up the communication and I'm sure things will get better :)

Saying I do said...

This is typical and certainly won't be the last fight you have before the wedding. It sounds like you both handled it well and I'm sure it's all worked out by now...You just both need to make sure you're both involved and don't let the wedding take over too much (though it's hard!)

Bride-onicles said...

Oh yes we have gone through this..I always felt that everything I mentioned to Groomzilla he would have a reason why we shouldn't do it, it costs too much, its not necessary, no one will notice. Then I voiced my concerns to him and now he is better at being a sounding board to me to bounce ideas off and not always finding the negative parts first.

We are definitely in that lull period now and if Groomzilla hears me say "I think I should be doing something for the wedding" one more time he will ring my neck! LOL. There are some things that just have to wait until closer to the date.