Blogging my way through wedding planning, crafts, life and all the unexpected events in between.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Feeling Snubbed

Happy New Year!  I cannot believe that it's 2011.  That means I can say I'm getting married NEXT YEAR!! haha.  So excited!!!

I asked one BM, and am going to ask another  (A Matron of Honor) when we go on vacation to JAMAICA this week.  And I PROMISE to post the DIY of the cards as soon as we get back (sorry I've had 28+ inches of snow on the east coast to deal with plus packing for the warm sandy beaches of Jamaica - you can see why I didn't post any of the card yet. lol. :-) )   

But as for the rest of the BP and when I'm going to ask them that will happen over the next several months.  I want all to be asked by April/May.  The FH and I decided on 7 people each.  We have lots of friends and knew we would always want a big BP.  And this is supposed to be the happiest time of my life and my best friend should be up my butt about this - if not at least just SUPER excited...right!  Right?

Not so much. I have been waiting to write about this for some time now.  It's been a major thorn in my side since November.  I've always waxed and waned with girlfriends.  They moved away, we would go to different schools, etc., and it never really bothered me. 

I met said current BFF in college.  She was a year behind me and I was her Resident Assistant during her freshman year.  We pledged a sorority together and we were very much inseparable after that.  We've had our ups and downs and have gone through all the typical girl-friend things: break-ups with boys, fights in bars with other girls, deaths, engagements of our friends, marriages of our friends, moving, moving in with boys, moving out from boys.  She was around for the beginning stages of my relationship with the FH.  He has always treated her as fabulously as he treats me (he's a smart man in that sense - all my girlfriends love him).  Well, she moved to Boston after graduation and I stayed in Dirty Jersey.  It didn't put too much a damper on our friendship.  We would chat at least every day if not twice a day.  She had been supportive of my new job last year, and the FH and I buying a house. 
She came for a visit in June and I knew we were in different places in our lives, but that had never bothered us before.  I was happy in my new home living with my then boyfriend and not yet FH.  She wanted to get wasted each night and go see an old college flame every night. I had planned out all these fun things for us to do and she wanted a stupid boy.  I was hurt, but let it go. 
 We got engaged in August and at first she thought I was joking (but I must admit that I had pulled an April Fool's on her a few times and faked her out before)  but she believed me eventually and was ecstatic. 
Fast forward to November.  My birthday.  I didn't hear from her until AFTER I texted her at 10:30 P.M.  She had met a knew guy, and was having a bust time at work.  However, I didn't think that warrented that she not text or call me on my bday.  Turns out she was with new guy at a Celtics game.  Ouch.  I'm still hurting from this.  She called the next day, but sorry...busted. 
So that brings us to today.  We haven't talked in over a month.  I invited her and new boy down for New Years and didn't hear from her until I sent her a nasty text somewhere around December 27. 
Here is my dilema.  I had always assumed she would be my Maid of Honor.  Now...I don't know if I even want to ask her to be part of the wedding.  This is supposed to be the MOST amazing time of my life and I haven't talked to one of my closest friends in over a month.  I don't even know how to describe what I'm feeling anymore.  I'm starting to ask girl to be part of this day with me....and now I can't bring myself to admit I may no longer have a BFF. 

Did you experience a change in any of your friends when you got engaged?  How did you deal?  Is this an unusual experience? 


jacin {lovely little details} said...

i'm sorry you have to go through this. what i can say is, you don't want to be worrying about others during this exciting time. if you think the tension in your friendship will cause issues during your planning, don't invite her to be part of your BP. if you think it might solve things, invite her. but maybe first, give her a call and talk it out? good luck!

sandytoesbride said...

Oh I wish talking would settle this. We've tried a few times but her excuses are always the same - I'm busy with work, I'm in my own little world, I was out with the boyfriend... I'll try a few more times once I get back. If not, then I guess I'm moving on.

Genevieve said...

I "broke up" with one of my friends right after asking her to be in my BP when I found out she was lying to me about still trying to have a baby on my wedding day even though she said she would wait or not be in the wedding. She thought she could do both even though I told her I am not risking her health for my wedding.