Breaking up make up friendship

So I blogged earlier, here, about how my "best friend" recently fell off the face of the Earth during the most important and exciting time of my life. *let me wipe up the dipping sarcasm*  Well, after a few attempts to get in touch and several long phone messages explaining situations we finally caught up. 

It took me several minutes of BSing to finally get to my point.  I was hurt.  I felt like I had been dumped by my best friend because I got engaged.  I tried not to place blame on either party, but address the current issues.  As I said before, she's got many things going on and her job is a P.I.T.A. job to say the least.  She did break-up with the guy she was dating too.  I felt like a big jerkie-mc-jerkerson that I hadn't been there for her through all of that. 

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I still feel like things are not back to normal.  I brought up how I feel that I cannot call her and talk to her about my wedding planning process.  There were comments made about how she is so far away and she wishes she could be here to go through this process with me but that it makes her upset that she can't because of the distance.  There were also comments about how we are at different places in our lives right now.  I know that we are in two different places: me = bridal brain, her = single working woman.  It's happened before that we have drifted apart here and there because of the distance, but it's never become a gorge between us like it is now.  But it's a two way friendship street. 

                                           

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I don't want to break-up with her....I just can't shake the feeling that this will happen closer to the wedding when I acutally need her for things and she'll be lost and out there and I won't know what to do.  I haven't asked her to be a part of the wedding party yet because I have this recurring nightmare of showing up to my wedding ceremony and she sends me a text saying she forgot and she's not coming.... :-(

I have no idea what to do....