Blogging my way through wedding planning, crafts, life and all the unexpected events in between.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

The awkward pause and silence

OK...I am a teacher.  Unfortunately, I was laid-off at the end of last the last school year due to budget cuts in the fabulous state of NJ.  My then boyfriend and I bought a house in April and in the same week we closed and finally had keys in our hands, I found out I was being laid-off.  It stung.  My darling boyfriend then proposed, much to my super surprise, over the summer.  So here we are: engaged since August and happily living together in this house that we bought.

So where's the awkward pause and silence? We are having a long engagement due to our new "financial situation".  We are not getting married until October 2012 because we are paying for the whole thing ourselves.  Here's the awkward pause and silence: last night we were at a surprise birthday party for a friend's mom.  There were other parent's of our friends there.  One dad came over to say congratulations then asked when we were getting married.  My FH knows how irritated I am by the fact that we have to wait so long, so he usually fields this question.  He replied, in about two years: October of 2012.  The friend's dad looked at me, gave me one of those sympathetic frowning smile and then said nothing.  I could feel my blood boil. I know I could be over-reacting and I do feel self-consious by being unemployed but I HATE THAT FROWNING SMILE!!!!!

This has happened numerous times with varied types of people.  I had one friend pause, frowningly smile at me and say "what a shame you can't save faster and have it sooner." Some folks have just blankly looked at us and changed the subject.  I don't understand why it's so awkward. 

If you have read my first post, you know I was not a girl who pushed to get engaged and married.  I was utterly and incandescently happy with buying a several thousand dollar house.  I am also someone who seems to get sick for weddings.  I believe it's the stress and the busy-ness that push my immune system down, but still it does factor into how I feel about them.  So I was in some respects happy with a long engagement.  Plus, the positive to only substitute teaching a few days a week is I've had time to tackle a few DIY ideas and do some trial runs.  I'll be making our invitations (yay - that post will come later). 

I know I ranted and raved and probably had no clear meaning or idea going forth, but I had to vent about the pause and silence.  I have to learn to get over it.  Did anyone have a long engagement?  How did you field the answer when telling people you were waiting so long?

1 comment:

Married Away said...

Oh my goodness honey, Im so sorry people are being so rude to you about your engagement. My fiance and I are having a long engagement because we are paying for the wedding ourselves too. But the thing is, I would want to have a long engagement anyways! I love being engaged and I am totally milking it :D
I have gotten some rude remarks from people and most of the time I am snarky right back to them. Some people have NO tact.